dateline today
The Lesson of the Chicken
When I Grow Up I Want To Be A Firetruck
Pick Up The Phone Booth and Aisle
chloe, the author AI
Papa November
Listen and decode.
the name generator!!
What's your name? Find out!
Capsule summaries of your favorite IF works.
The Stupid Homepage
My finest hour! HTML from 1996 meets eyes of today.
Massachusetts Slogans
Tasteless safety recall jokes.
Spatula Gardens
spatchCoaster tracks
Track designs for a wide variety of roller coaster design programs.
the cats
Coney Island
Personal stuff, personally.

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archived for posterior.

I've decided to use the front page of www.spatch.net as my nutty mouthpiece and write whenever the hell I feel like it. Archiving is good, though, so I'll keep all the previous bits of writing just in case you really want to get bored.

remember, remember the seventh of november November 7, 2006

It's getting so a fellow can't safely walk around on Election Day... or IS it?

the dan brown code July 21, 2005

I've been reading over people's shoulders on the T too much.

to fserve and protect March 17, 2005

I forget to update my homepage and get visited by the INTERNET POLICE.

kchung kchungggg March 27, 2004

A new spatch.net homepage ripped from today's headlines! With a shocking twist at the end that you must see to believe!

you keep using that word... November 22, 2003

Calling all Slashdorks! Yes the Star Wars changes suck! Let's tone down the rhetoric or something, ok?

pedro pointed at the sky October 17, 2003

Another year, another bitter pill for a Red Sox fan to swallow. It happens. We move on. Sometimes.

you filthy pragmatists! July 29, 2003

CookieQuest 2003 ends as inauspiciously as it begins. And the Keebler Elves are to blame.

the life and times of Reginald the Orc July 6, 2003

I beat EverQuest. Reginald doesn't.

we ruin it twelve ways June 14, 2003

from the Dept. of Anti-Climax

the scrounging game March 17, 2003

l'argent de poche avec les DVDs de crap. Also, why The Sims Online sucked.

gotta green before code November 18, 2002

Aie! The Sims Online! Plus, Fortz Go Down De Hooooooole.

spatch vs. ants July 8, 2002

Unearthing a gem from January about my epic battle with ants.

nobody leaves until there's at least 20% on the table February 14, 2002

An old writeup about an old restaurant that ain't around no more.

send in the clones August 6, 2001

I wax Sondheim about the latest development in the Star Wars saga.

catzenpoppin July 8, 2001

How not to give a cat a pill, plus the Three Newbie Deaths of Drolias Flamegut

some title about Survivor here May 3, 2001

Survivor in the frozen tundra wraps up, I get nostalgic

choose your own damn sugar rush April 24, 2001

We're finally back, with more yammering about cereal and Whalom worrying

cuckoo for cat chow December 7, 2000

Two months later, I'm still getting weird cat-related questionnaires

that's ah-sweep-eh September 7, 2000

Mocking the baby names of irresponsible parents, plus talkin 'bout cat poop

margarita bob, back in town July 31, 2000

Look! A recipe for booze! You're welcome!

stupid cat tricks July 17, 2000

Or, "Why Are You Logey And Listless In The Morning?"

eminently predictable June 28, 2000

Hey, Hollywood! I gotcher Foundation trailer right here, hanging low.

maggot-like dinosaur eggs, breakfast of champions June 22, 2000

we got a little bit behind in our work.

blank page April 3, 2000

A little deconstruction, a little lesson. A little bit everything. Plus Gene Rayburn jokes.

eiffel65, leave my head please March 6, 2000

I've moved. And you can endure every agonizing hour of the move with me. OK, maybe not.

push(@mattress, $money) February 11, 2000

Angry ranting about the loss of my beloved bank, and the hideous monster that ate it all up

pits and bieces January 8, 2000

A hodge-podge of random thoughts, 2000 existentialism, and a list that means absolutely nothing

Bye Bye Bag December 22, 1999

I lose my green backpack; the Celtics lose their original parquet floor

Seeing the Elephant November 10, 1999

An awe-filled ode to Islands of Adventure

k-tel's K-12 hits October 18, 1999

Songs from the schoolyard

Me detruisant doucement avec sa chanson September 10, 1999

Mr. McLean goes to Paris via Babelfish

Pointless snarky web rantings September 2, 1999

Why superfluous site designs suck, the birthday of the Internet

Vending God memoirs August 30, 1999

Living la vida soda, Useless URL Update

koo koo ka choo, Mrs. Andrews July 21, 1999

Insomniac Disney Theater, goddamn but Las Vegas is weird

History On Parade June 17, 1999

The first Apple 2 up for grabs, Howard Stern and private moments on video