"haha, beer! snow to your heels!"

is the second of my odd attempts
at artificial intelligence.

Using a markov chain algorithm, chloe scans a document and then randomly generates her own writing based on frequency patterns and whatnot. Often times the results are more lucid than you'd think -- sentences that almost sound right, with an almost logical flow and feel to them.

Other times, chloe seems to just enjoy spouting off nonsense in an e.e. cummings sort of way, especially if the source document contains a lot of line breaks and extraneous punctuation. She also apparently doesn't like fully ending sentences sometimes, but we're working on that.

chloe is written in Perl. The first Markov generator I saw was written in C, and while it worked, it was entirely too clunky and slow. I thought maybe Perl would help. Stop laughing. Version 1.0 was written in less than a day, with a lot of Beck playing in the background to help. I'm still constantly refining it to keep her from adding carriage returns. Damn you and your love for the \n, chloe!

I used chloe when posting to Slashdot under the moniker Virtual JonKatz. You guessed it, VJK would regurgitate Jon Katz articles that sounded amazingly enough like the original pompous buzzword-laden clunkers themselves. Unfortunately, nobody ever seemed to believe this was a homebrewed concoction; all the oldschool posters thought it was just Disassociated Press at it again, while all the newbies Didn't Get It and frequently moderated the account down as a troll. Sigh. Like pearls before swine, I tells you...

By the way, I named the script after a particularly wonderfully lucid troll on rec.roller-coaster. Until "her" identity was revealed, I had a firm theory that it was, in fact, an elaborate markov chain system, much like the ol' Mark V. Shaney posts of years gone by.


chloe meets the 80s
80s lyrics custom-made to your liking. As seen on Yahoo!

chloe rewrites Hamlet
Not satisfied with the Bard's word placement? Let Chloe help.

a few chapters of Genesis
Chloe can even make the Bible strange.


the Declaration of Independence

The Self-Made Critic #1
The Self-Made Critic #2
The Self-Made Critic is a product of the Brunching Shuttlecocks.
You can check out his original interviews if you'd like.

pre-formatted Hamlet
spatch's frontpage writings
a roller coaster trip report

Scripture Readings
Song of Solomon
the gospel according to John




copyright (c) 2001 R. Noyes.