AS MAYOR OF CATTOWN IT BEHOOVES ME TO USE WORDS LIKE BEHOOVE
AND ALSO TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THIS PARTICULAR EPISODE OF CAT TOWN WAS WRITTEN
SOMETIME in 2010 AND WAS VERY FUNNY FOR ITS TIME


SINCE THEN OF COURSE NEW THINGS HAVE COME TO LIGHT AND BILL COSBY SUDDENLY WASN'T AS FUNNY
AS BEFORE, WHICH WAS A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT TO US ALL ESPECIALLY DJ HAND PUPPET


I HAD ALL HIS ALBUMS


AT ANY RATE WE COULD HAVE PLAYED THE REVISIONISM GAME AND JUST REMOVED THE EPISODE ENTIRELY
SO THAT NOBODY THOUGHT WE WERE MAKING A JOKE ON THE CURRENT TRIAL GOING ON


(IT IS NOW 2016)
(JUST IN CASE YOU NEEDED TO KNOW) (AND BILL COSBY IS TOTALLY IN JAIL)


BUT IN THE END WE DECIDED IT WAS OKAY TO KEEP THE EPISODE BUT PUT UP A TIMELY REMINDER
ALSO THE ANIMAL HAT GANG HAD A FEW GOOD LINES IN IT AND IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN FAIR
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT BILL COSBY THAT'S OKAY, WE ARE HARD AT WORK ON A NEW CAT TOWN
AND YOU CAN GO BACK AND READ ANOTHER OF OUR MANY OTHER HILARIOUS EPISODES
anyway JUST WANTED TO GET THAT OUT THERE, CARRY ON WITH YOUR WEB BROWSING AND THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING CAT TOWN


YEAH, SEE YOU IN 2021 WHEN OUR NEXT EPISODE DROPS


QUIET

 

 

 

DEEDLE DOOT DOO DEE DEE
LET'S ALL GO TO CAT TOWN
DEEDLE DOOT DOO DEE DEE
IT'S TIME TO GO TO CAT TOWN
AND SEE EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING DOWN IN

caaaAAAT
TOOOOWWN


HEAR YE HEAR YE, CAT TOWN POP CULTURE GENERAL COURT IS NOW IN SESSION, THE HONORABLE JUDGE EL GUAPO WILL PRESIDE OVER THE CASE OF THE CENTURY


TODAY'S MATTER CONCERNS THE PEOPLE VERSUS THE COSBY SHOW, WILL THE COUNCIL FOR THE PLAINTIFF PLEASE ADDRESS THE COURT


SUP GUYS


HIYA


IN THIS COURT REPORTER'S OPINION, THE ONLY WAY THAT COULD HAVE GONE WORSE IS IF JUDGE GUAPO HAD CALLED FOR ORDER IN THE COURT


HURR HURR HURR, I WOULDA SAID


I KNOW DAMN WELL WHAT YOU WOULD HAVE SAID


IF THE GALLERY IS FINISHED WITH ITS DISCUSSION ON THE COURTROOM COMEDY ROUTINE, IT IS TIME FOR THE OPENING ARGUMENTS


THANK YOU, EL JUDGE YOUR HONOR GUAPO. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY


WAIT, THERE'S A JURY?


YEAH, AND WE'RE ON IT


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH


I NEVER GOT A CHANCE TO WEASEL MY WAY OUT


I TRIED AN EXCUSE FOR THE BOTH OF US BUT THEY JUST WEREN'T HAVING IT


I AM THE STENOGRAPHER, DO I PUT IN WHAT THE JURY SAYS


i am the bailiff NAH YOU DON'T HAVE TO THEY MOSTLY JUST SCREAM ANYWAY


ANYWAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY, WE WOULD LIKE TO CALL INTO QUESTION THE COSBY SHOW AND INDEED THE NATURE OF ITS VERY NAME. THE COSBY SHOW.


WHY, I REMEMBER THAT SHOW


THIS EPISODE OF CAT TOWN BRINGS ME BACK TO MY CHILDHOOD


NOW OF COURSE BILL COSBY CREATED THE SHOW, BUT WAS ANYBODY ON IT ACTUALLY NAMED COSBY? THE ANSWER IS A PLAIN AND SIMPLE NO. NOW I ASK YOU, WHAT DOES A TELEVISION SHOW DO? IT SHOWS YOU SOMETHING.


CAN'T FAULT THIS LOGIC SO FAR, WITH HIM ALL THE WAY


DID THE SHOW SHOW US A COSBY? IT DID NOT. IT SHOWED US THE HUXTABLES


WAIT A MINUTE


AND WITH THAT, THE NAME "COSBY" IS INVALIDATED. FURTHERMORE,


OK, WE'RE HOSED, I'M OUT


DID YOU EVER NOTICE HOW THE FOCUS ON THE SHOW WAS ALWAYS ON THE CUTE KID? FIRST IT WAS RUDY BUT THEN RUDY GOT TOO OLD SO THEY BROUGHT IN OLIVIA


HE NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT THIS AT HOME


TELL ME ABOUT IT, HURR HURR HURR


CLEARLY THE NAME OF THE SHOW SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE RUDY SHOW AND THEN LATER ON THE OLIVIA SHOW, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT SHOWS YOU AND ON THAT BOMBSHELL LADIES AND GENTLEMEN I REST MY CASE


IS THE COUNSEL FOR THE PLAINTIFF REALLY FINISHED WITH WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BLOG ENTRY ALL ALONG


MY CASE IS MORE THAN RESTED, JUDGIE-WUDGIE


DOES JUDGIE-WUDGIE HAVE A HYPHEN IN IT


I'M PRETTY SURE IT DOES


THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO JUST WRITE IT IN LATER BECAUSE I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE ONE ON THIS STUPID MACHINE


I AM STILL THE BAILIFF, WHAT SEEMS TO BE THE PROBLEM


LACK OF OPPOSABLE THUMBS REALLY


HOW MUCH OF THAT DID YOU GET DOWN


NOTHING, HONESTLY, THE MACHINE'S PRETTY USELESS. I JUST KIND OF HIT RANDOM KEYS ON IT AND HOPED THEY MADE A SOUND


THE COURT MOVES THAT FROM NOW ON THE STENOGRAPHER WILL JUST FLAIL HER PAWS ABOUT ON THE TYPEWRITER LIKE DEVICE AND WE'LL FILL IN WHAT WE REMEMBER LATER


I ONLY TOOK THIS JOB TO BE NEXT TO YOU ALL DAY


YES, I FIGURED


YOUR HONOR JUDGE GUAPO, THE counsel FOR THE DEFENSE IS READY


CEO FLASHY CHICAGO LAWYER BILLY FLYNN AT THE STAND, READY AND WAITING


GEEZ IS HE STILL ON THAT KICK? SERIOUSLY HE SAW THE MOVIE LIKE SEVEN YEARS AGO OR SOMETHING


YEAH AND HE ALSO SAW THE TOURING COMPANY WHEN IT CAME THROUGH LAST YEAR SO SHUT IT


I AM unexpectedly CHASTENED


NOW LET'S FIRST BEGIN BY MENTIONING THAT THE SHOW DOES SHOW YOU A COSBY. IT SHOWS YOU MR. BILL COSBY, ALL RIGHT... STARRING AS THAT LOVABLE YET PRACTICAL PARENT DR. HEATHCLIFF HUXTABLE


OHHHHHHHH


I SEE


OH SNAP


DUDE, DID YOU REALLY NOT THINK THAT ONE ALL THE WAY THROUGH


IT MUST HAVE SLIPPED MY MIND WHEN I WAS WATCHING RERUNS FOR RESEARCH, I KEPT GOING BACK TO THE ONES WHERE STEVIE WONDER SHOWED UP


AND ADDITIONALLY, WHILE THE TITLE MAY HAVE BEEN THE COSBY SHOW, WHAT IT WAS WAS COSBY'S SHOW. SO IT SHOWED YOU BILL COSBY BRINGING YOU ALL THOSE WONDERFUL CHARACTERS AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND YES, EVEN INCLUDING THE PRECOCIOUS AND EASILY-REPLACED CHILDREN


OH NOW HE'S JUST RUBBING SALT ON THE WOUNDS


GOTTA LOVE THAT BILLY FLYNN


AND IT SHOWED YOU ALL OF THEM TOGETHER, THURSDAYS AT 8:00, FOR A WEEKLY HALF-HOUR OF LAUGHS AND LOVE, AND WITH THAT THE DEFENSE RESTS THE HELL OUT OF ITS CASE


HURRAY


JUDGE EL GUAPO WILL NOW DELIBERATE AND RETURN WITH HIS VERDICT


THAT WON'T BE NECESSARY, I HAVE REACHED MY VERDICT


WHAT


SO SOON


TAPPITY TAP TAP TA-TAP


YES, AND MY VERDICT IS THAT THIS HAS BEEN THE MOST USELESS ARGUMENT WE'VE EVER HAD TO HEAR IN THIS COURT


YES


WE DID IT


THAT'LL BE TEN BUCKS, C'MON PAY UP


SUPERSTAR LAWYER BILLY FLYNN NEVER LOSES A CASE


YEAH BUT HE'S SURPRISINGLY GOOD AT LOSING BETS, SO MAKE WITH THE HAMILTON ALREADY


IN THIS COURT REPORTER'S OPINION A NEW DAY HAS DAWNED ON CAT TOWN FOR THE ANIMAL HAT GANG HAS FINALLY WON


NOT NECESSARILY


WHAT


IN ADDITION, I HAVE FOUND YOU GUILTY OF BRINGING THE MOST USELESS ARGUMENT WE'VE EVER HAD TO THIS COURT


WOW


DIDN'T SEE THAT ONE COMING


I HEREBY SENTENCE YOU TO TWO TO THREE SEASONS OF A DIFFERENT WORLD AND EVERY EPISODE SHALL BE ABOUT WHITLEY


DO WE AT LEAST GET ANY OF THE EPISODES WITH MARISA TOMEI


NO


JUSTICE IS A CRUEL, HARSH MISTRESS, BOO HURR HURR


WAIT, I THOUGHT WE WERE IN THE JURY


I DECIDED NOT TO USE YOU GUYS TODAY, SORRY


DOES THIS MEAN WE'VE SERVED OUR CIVIC DUTY AND ARE FREE TO LEAVE


SURE


HURRAY


JUDGE EL GUAPO IN THE OPINION OF THIS COURT REPORTER YOU HAVE SERVED UP A MIGHTY HEAPING OF HARSH JUSTICE UPON THE HEADS OF THESE THREE CATS


SOMETIMES A PRECEDENT IN JUSTICE MUST BE SET TO PREVENT FUTURE CALAMITIES SUCH AS TODAY'S SESSION


BUT STILL, SHOW SOME COMPASSION


OK, ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS ONLY HAVE TO WATCH TWO EPISODES


IT IS A MIRACLE


AND WE'LL ALL WATCH WITH YOU AND HAVE AN ICE CREAM PARTY TOO


HURRAY


NOW I KNOW THE TRUE MEANING OF THE CAT TOWN JUSTICE SYSTEM


BETTER YET LET'S MAKE IT PUDDING POPS, HOW ABOUT THAT


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


IN THIS COURT REPORTER'S OPINION IT'S AMAZING WE TOOK THIS LONG TO GET TO A PUDDING POPS JOKE


BILL COSBY IS A MULTI-FACETED MAN, BLANCHE, WE HAD A LOT OF GROUND TO COVER

AND THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOING DOWN IN

THE END
A 9TH STREET BRIDGE PRODUCTION

OBIE KAYBIE FABBA-ABBIE

 

 

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