DEEDLE DOOT DOO DEE DEE
LET'S ALL GO TO CAT TOWN
DEEDLE DOOT DOO DEE DEE
IT'S TIME TO GO TO CAT TOWN
AND SEE EVERYTHING THAT'S GOING DOWN IN

IN THIS EPISODE OF CAT TOWN
THE MAYOR'S WATCH IS MISSING


WELL THANK GOODNESS YOU'RE HERE, THERE'S AN AWFUL ROW ABOUT DOWN IN CAT TOWN, SEEMS THE ANIMAL HAT GANG HAS GONE MISSING


AND NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON, I SAY


WHO SHALL ATTEMPT TO SWINDLE US OUT OF OUR HARD-EARNED GOODS NOW


OR TEACH US FUN NEW SWEAR WORDS


WHEREVER THE ANIMAL HAT GANG HAS FOUND THEMSELVES, I SURE HOPE THEY'RE NOT GETTING INTO ANY TROUBLE


I HOPE THEY'RE ENJOYING THEIR SURROUNDINGS


ENJOYING OUR SURROUNDINGS MY AUNT FANNY, WE HAD A MISERABLE TIME


THE ANIMAL HAT GANG HAS RETURNED


IT IS A MIRACLE


hurray


SO WHERE WERE YOU GUYS ANYWAY


ALASKA


WAIT, WHAT


YOU'VE ONLY BEEN GONE A FEW HOURS


WE GOT SICK OF HANGING AROUND HERE WITH YOU DORKS SO WE DECIDED TO LEAVE CAT TOWN AND GO TO ALASKA


AND SINCE TIME TRAVELS SLOWER OUTSIDE OF CAT TOWN, WE SPENT FOUR YEARS IN THAT STATE


FOUR YEARS, THREE MONTHS, TWENTY-NINE DAYS, ELEVEN HOURS, NINETEEN MINUTES AND FORTY-THREE SECONDS, HURR HURR HURR


WHAT THE


I KEEP TELLING YOU WE GOTTA TEACH HIM BLACKJACK AND TAKE HIM TO VEGAS


LATER


WAIT, TIME TRAVELS SLOWER OUTSIDE OF CAT TOWN? HOW CAN THAT BE?


HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN NINE MONTHS BETWEEN ADVENTURES, HURR HURR HURR


POINT WELL TAKEN


SO ANYWAY WE WERE THINKING ABOUT HOW ALASKA IS SO COOL AND STUFF


HER NATURAL RESOURCES ARE SHINING AND GOLDEN


AND RIPE FOR EXPLOITATION


NOW WAIT A MINUTE, YOU HOOLIGANS TOLD ME YOU DECIDED NOT TO GO DRILLING IN THE ANWR, and then YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T GO DRILLING IN THE ANWR


DON'T WORRY TREEHUGGER, WE DIDN'T TOUCH THE ANWR, YOUR ICICLE MONKEYS OR WHATEVER ARE SAFE


THEY'RE CALLED BIG-EYED BABY SNOW SEAL PUPS, AND THEY'RE VERY ENDANGERED


LIKE HE SAID, "OR WHATEVER"


SO WHAT WE DID DECIDE TO DO WAS GO INTO POLITICS


WE HEARD THE GOVERNORSHIP WAS OPEN FOR THE TAKING, HURR HURR HURR


AND FIGURING THAT NONE OF THE RUBES UP THERE HAD EVER HEARD OF BIG CITY POLITICKING, WE LAUNCHED AN INCREDIBLE CAMPAIGN


USING EVERY DIRTY TRICK IN THE BOOK


HURR HURR HURR, AND WHEN WE FINISHED THE BOOK, WE WROTE FANFIC AND USED THAT TOO


SO THEN WHAT HAPPENED


YEAH, DID YOU WIN


TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO BACK TO THAT FATEFUL ELECTION DAY...


PREVIOUSLY, IN ALASKA...

HEY WAIT, THAT'S NOT ALASKA


WHO'S TELLING THIS STORY, BLONDIE, YOU OR ME


FINE, FINE, CONTINUE WITH YOUR MENDACITY


THANKS i think


PREVIOUSLY, IN ALASKA...

WELCOME BACK TO OUR FATEFUL ELECTION DAY, FELLOW ALASKANS


HURRAY


AS YOU ALL KNOW I'M MR. GILBERT, I DON'T KNOW WHY I JUST INTRODUCED MYSELF SINCE YOU ALL KNOW ME BUT I JUST DID, WELL ANYWAY, WE HAVE BUT ONE ELECTION LEFT TO CALL


FINALLY


I WAS GETTING TIRED OF HIS SPEECHES, HURR HURR HURR


AND THE RESULTS ARE IN: IT IS WITH GREAT PRIDE AND FURIOUS HONOR THAT THE CITIZENS OF ALASKA HEREBY ELECT THE ANIMAL HAT GANG


NATURALLY


...as MAYOR OF THE TOWN OF BACON


WAIT, WHAT


I THOUGHT WE WERE RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR


OH THAT IS NOT HOW IT WORKS UP HERE IN ALASKA


WHAT THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS DO YOU MEAN, HAT-BOY


WELL HERE IN ALASKA, WE DON'T VOTE ON WHO GETS TO BE IN WHAT OFFICE, WE VOTE ON WHAT OFFICE SHOULD BE GIVEN TO THEM INSTEAD


WELL NOW THAT CERTAINLY IS TOPSY-TURVY MR. GILBERT SIR


I DON'T KNOW, THIS SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING THAT COULD TURN MONUMENTALLY LAME AT A MOMENT'S NOTICE


ON THE OTHER HAND, IT'S A TOWN TO RUN, IT'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME


GOOD POINT, MAYOR FROGGY. MR. GILBERT, WE'LL TAKE THE JOB


SPLENDID! NOW PACK YOUR THINGS AND GET ON YOUR MOTORCYCLE, YOU'VE GOT A LONG DRIVE AHEAD OF YOU IF YOU WANT TO REACH BACON BY NIGHTFALL


MOTORCYCLE? SWEET, AT LEAST WE GET SOME COOL-ASS BIKES


NO, THE MAYOR ONLY GETS ONE BIKE, IT'S CLEARLY STATED IN THE CHARTER


WELL HOP ON YOU GOONS, WE'RE OFF TO BACON


DIBS ON THE HANDLEBARS HURR HURR HURR


WELL WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT! HOW WILL THE ANIMAL HAT GANG TAKE TO THEIR NEW SURROUNDINGS? HOW WILL THE NEW SURROUNDINGS TAKE TO THE ANIMAL HAT GANG? AND HOW WILL THE ANIMAL HAT GANG PROPERLY MANAGE THEIR RESOURCES TO EFFECTIVELY RUN A SMALL TOWN OF 600 PEOPLE?


1: I DON'T KNOW, HOW, 2: I DON'T KNOW, HOW, AND 3: I DON'T KNOW, HOW


WELL THE ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS AND SOME OTHERS WILL BE ANSWERED IN THE NEXT EXCITING EPISODE OF

 

TO BE CONTINUED

A FUSSY KITTY PRODUCTION

DUDE, THE FOOD IN YOUR BOWL AIN'T GETTING ANY FRESHER

 

 

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FORGET JACK LONDON THIS IS FINE ALASKAN LITERATURE
(thanx fer the mantra, del)